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Gaming Gallimaufry 1: Nursery Rhymes for Gamers

I’ve been thinking recently about how everyone has been telling the same nursery rhymes to children for years and years with no changes. But then perhaps it’s for the best. They might not be quite so nice and memorable if they were written by a gaming generation…

 

Oh, the Grand Old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men
He marched them up to the top of the hill
And he marched them down again.
And when they were up, they would fight
And when they were down, they would flee
And when the AI was half way up
They’d get stuck on scenery.

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Lucy Locket lost her pocket
Because someone picked it
She’ll never see her stuff again
‘Twas Garrett taffing nicked it.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The casual gamers, women and men
Did a very easy jigsaw puzzle to put him together again.

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Georgie Porgie caused a furor
Kissing girls and then doing more
The idiots in the media say
Murder is fine, but sex? No way!

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Little Bo Peep, she lost her sheep
To an adventurer she did plea
“I’m supposed to be saving the world” he said
“But I’ll find them for the XP.”

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Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s man
Bake me a cake as fast as you can
Actually, hold on there, don’t even try
It doesn’t really matter ‘cause the cake is a lie.

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Maybe we’re better sticking with the old ones after all.

Have any gaming nursery rhymes of your own? Post them over on our forum!